


All I Have To Give

by hookerspice78



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 15:44:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1433977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hookerspice78/pseuds/hookerspice78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone reaches their breaking point a point where they simply just can't take anymore. Killian has reached that point with Emma. What will it take for her to realize that he is in this for the long haul? That he is there for her and always has been. What will  it take for her to accept him? This is what it will take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Have To Give

The snow fell around her, the cold breeze surrounding chilling her to the bone. She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to cry again, but she couldn’t her tears were all gone. She’s cried so much in the past few weeks she had no more left. She watched as they lowered Neal’s coffin into the ground, watched as they started burying it. Her past was being buried how ironic was that she thought to herself. Everyone else had left either going back to Granny’s or wherever else they went to. Probably drowning their sorrows she was alone alone as she always had been.

Emma tried to stand up straighter and tried to walk, she searched around for her rock. Searched everywhere in the graveyard where was he, where was Killian she needed him why wasn’t he here. He had stood by her side all throughout the funeral even tried to rest his hand upon her back to reassure her but she stepped away slightly. She was sad, was still in shock at Neal’s passing. She was afraid of how many other people she would have to lose. She didn’t want to let him comfort her because that meant letting him in only to lose him some way or the other like she always loses people she loves, she cares about. But she needed him now even just Killian’s presence comforted her. She loved him, was in love with him she knew it. She had to face the facts her heart belonged to him, always had been his. So why couldn’t she let him in. Why couldn’t she let him even comfort her in the smallest of ways? Why?

She grimaced she was mad now where was he why did he leave her he never left her. Especially in times like this. She had to find him so she started her long trek back to Granny’s as that was the place he probably would be. 

A few moments later she found herself stalking up the stairs to the rooms above the diner. He wasn’t in the restaurant in fact no one was. Storybrooke was eerily quiet and deserted she had to find everyone but first she needed to find her pirate. She arrived at his room and heard shuffling coming from behind the door. It sounded like someone was in a hurry. She knocked but there was no answer she knocked again and still no answer. She tried the doorknob and surprisingly it was unlocked. So she let herself in she was not prepared for the state she found the room in.

She stood in the doorway as she scanned the room. She felt her mouth drop open as she saw his meager possessions strewn around the room. His leather coat lay beside a duffle bag. A duffle bag that was open and packed.

What the hell. She thought. What is going on?

“Hook!!! Hook!!” She called out painfully. “Killian!!! Damn it Killian!! Where are you? What is this?” She couldn’t see him he didn’t answer the panic was setting in. What happened to him? Did Zelena get to him? Is he gone…is he de…dead. No I will not lose him too I cannot. She thought as her grief stricken self ran around the room searching. She was heading towards the bathroom when she ran straight into a solid chest. She knew that chest she knew that smell the familiar and amazing smell of spiced rum and sea. Her moisture ridden eyes looked up to meet the familiar ocean blue eyes she knew too well. They had moisture in them he had been crying.   
“What the hell is this? What are you doing Killian?” She screamed grabbing the collar of his soft cotton shirt. “Where the fuck are you going?” 

“Nice to see you too, Love.” He replied in his soft lilt. The tone behind his words were different though she noticed. His tone had despair in it she had never heard. He placed his hand on her shoulder. Her body betrayed her yet again and she stepped back. He nodded in silent acknowledgement. “Aye, there you go again.” 

“There I go again.” She argued. “What do you mean?”

“You’re pulling away again like you always do when I offer you comfort pushing me away. How long must we do this dance Emma? I can’t…I can’t keep doing this anymore.” He stepped away and leaned against the wall. The tears fell from his eyes. 

She was enraged and stomped towards him. How could he do this now? How could he leave me? After all we’ve been through lately. She thought as she pushed at his chest. He looked at her shocked that she was pushing him.

“You’re an idiot!!! You’re an ass!!! Where the hell are you going? You can’t leave..not while all this is going on.” She screamed at him. She was done she had been put through the ringer emotionally wise too many times. She had lost yet another person she cared about and now she was losing the person she loved. She pushed at his shoulders again her voice hitching and new found tears escaping down her cheek. He just stood there which enraged her even more.

“Why can’t I leave as you say I am? There is nothing for me here you don’t need me. Nobody does. I’ve risked my life for everyone risked my life for you. And everyone still treats me as I always have been a pirate a villain. I’ve lost everything now.” He retorted back. “I see your pain over losing yet another person you love. Someone else who isn’t ME….I’m done Emma. I can’t do this anymore. Bae was everything to me before you and you are everything to me. But yet, you don’t reciprocate anything. I have given everything up everything that was me for 300 years everything that I love for you. To bring you home but yet you your family. They still see me as Captain Hook.”

“You coward!!! You bastard!!! I was right all along you’d leave. Leave me like everyone else has!!!” She couldn’t stop herself as her fists clenched and started hitting his chest. “Yes run away run away from everything like you always have. Go back to Neverland or wherever the hell so you don’t have to deal with anything!!” She screamed, her fists slamming into his chest. She heard his grimaces heard his pain in his voice she knew that Neal’s death had affected him more than what he let on. She was pissed he wasn’t opening up to her wasn’t letting his feelings show. 

“That’s right, Lass!! Hit me give it your best shot. Because that is the closest thing I’ll ever get to touching you the closest thing I’ll ever get to feeling your touch.” His face inches from hers the anger radiating off him in waves. The tears were blurring her eyes the pain burying the rational side of her. She kept hitting him as the tears spilled out.  
“I’ve lost Neal!! And now I’m losing you which is only fitting since I’m always alone!! You asshole!!! Do you really think all that? Do you really think we don’t see you as more than a pirate now? Do you really think I don’t need you? That I don’t…l…”She stopped herself the beats on his chest slowing down as she collapsed. She collapsed against him and fell to her knees. Her cries were echoing in the room. He got to his knees in front of her and she felt his arms around her wrapping her in his warmth and strength. She didn’t push away this time. She fell against him the tears staining his shirt.

“That you what, Love. What is it?” He whispered against her hair his hand caressing the back of her head as he cradled her in his arms. “What else can I do to prove myself to you? To be worthy of you. I’m lost. I’ve lost Bae and even though I never had you I’ve lost you.” He kissed her forehead and held her tighter as the tears that she wanted earlier fell.

Her body was tired her soul was broken. She couldn’t lose Killian too not when he has been the only light in her life besides Henry not when he helped her find herself again. Why had she been so stubborn? So stubborn that she had managed to push him away. She hated herself for this hated him for breaking his promise of never leaving her. She hated everything. He just held her and rocked her whispering in her ear whispering words of love and reassurance but she couldn’t comprehend them right now. She gulped and clutched his shirt and his chest hair in her palm. 

“Tell me love, tell me what I must do. I have given you all I have to give” He pleaded.

Her voice hitched as she found words. “Nothing Killian. You don’t have to do anything.” He placed his fingers under her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. She bit her lip and continued. “You have done everything. Everything I could’ve dreamed of. You have proven yourself over and over to me for me. I don’t know why I couldn’t find the words until now. But Killian, you need to listen to me now for I don’t know if I will ever find the words again.” He pulled her against his chest and stroked her cheek. “You are more than worthy of me. In fact I don’t know if I’m even worthy of you. I’ve hurt you so bad and pushed you away so many times. I don’t fault you for leaving me I’m broken beyond repair. But you found me found me in my darkest time and managed to break down my walls even when I didn’t want you too. You are everything to me and I can’t lose you. DO YOU HEAR ME!! I cannot lose you!! You are my guardian angel my saviour and I love you. I love you with everything in me. I will understand if you don’t love me anymore lord knows I don’t deserve your love. But know that I love you and always have.”

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever just holding each other and staring into each others eyes before he finally spoke. 

“OOOh, Emma!!! I could never leave you even if I just tried to right now. You are my world you, Henry, your sometimes very irritating family. But I love you and always have. I love you more than I love anything in this world. So I swear to you..you will never lose me. I love you too much for that.”

Finally, she found her smile her happiness her home her forever in the arms of the dashing rapscallion. She pulled his face closer to hers and as their lips met and fused together. As their tongues met and tangled with each other as she lifted herself into Killian’s lap Emma knew that no matter what happened she would have her heart she would have her happy ending with this man.

FIN


End file.
